#1 Weddings

Can you count the number of weddings you've gone to on your hands?

If you are Somali the answer is most likely NO! Somalis LOVE weddings. No, I mean really LOVE weddings. Somalis were the 1st ever wedding crashers, long before the term even existed. [However, it does not matter who the bride/groom are because somalis are all connected, somehow.]

Somali people love weddings for various reasons. The teenagers love it because it is a chance to practice their shukansii in the hotel lobby. For single Somalis in hopes of finding a mate, weddings are where its at! Married somali woman love weddings because they get to leave the kusband and 7+ children for a night of dancing and gossip. Very few somali men go to weddings. Very, very few. The ones that do attend weddings are either the "coming-to-americas" who are in need of wifeys to give them the green card or the "im-so-gangster-with-my-pants-to-the-ground" boys who go to stand against a wall and watch the festivities take place. Both groups of men hope on seeing some fast nikko (which is when they floor-rush on the dance floor) or to obtain some digits for the t-mobile. Of course free food is a universal plus to all demographics in the somali community when attending a wedding. Some somalis love the food so much that they even take some "to-go". [But that's another post for another time. :) ]

Somalis also love anything thats free, hence making weddings quite popular in the somali community. The highlight of all somali weddings for the youth is when "English" music plays. The place turns form Muqdisho to Compton in all about 25 seconds. The old woman quickly retreat to their seats to avoid getting trampled by the "im-so-gangster-with-my-pants-to-the-ground" boys, the younger somali women, and the "coming-to-americas." (*the coming-to-americas really love "gangESTer rap", whether or not they can pronounce the lyrics.) The once diginifed wedding becomes a club and people get crunk, jiggy, and hyphy. The party becomes a BARTY. The older folk watch horrifed in their seats and the DJ finally cuts the cord when Abdikarim nearly has a seizure dancing. The party then comes to a close and somali people happily file out. Another successful somali wedding.