Tuesday, December 22, 2009

#1 Weddings

Can you count the number of weddings you've gone to on your hands?

If you are Somali the answer is most likely NO! Somalis LOVE weddings. No, I mean really LOVE weddings. Somalis were the 1st ever wedding crashers, long before the term even existed. [However, it does not matter who the bride/groom are because somalis are all connected, somehow.]

Somali people love weddings for various reasons. The teenagers love it because it is a chance to practice their shukansii in the hotel lobby. For single Somalis in hopes of finding a mate, weddings are where its at! Married somali woman love weddings because they get to leave the kusband and 7+ children for a night of dancing and gossip. Very few somali men go to weddings. Very, very few. The ones that do attend weddings are either the "coming-to-americas" who are in need of wifeys to give them the green card or the "im-so-gangster-with-my-pants-to-the-ground" boys who go to stand against a wall and watch the festivities take place. Both groups of men hope on seeing some fast nikko (which is when they floor-rush on the dance floor) or to obtain some digits for the t-mobile. Of course free food is a universal plus to all demographics in the somali community when attending a wedding. Some somalis love the food so much that they even take some "to-go". [But that's another post for another time. :) ]

Somalis also love anything thats free, hence making weddings quite popular in the somali community. The highlight of all somali weddings for the youth is when "English" music plays. The place turns form Muqdisho to Compton in all about 25 seconds. The old woman quickly retreat to their seats to avoid getting trampled by the "im-so-gangster-with-my-pants-to-the-ground" boys, the younger somali women, and the "coming-to-americas." (*the coming-to-americas really love "gangESTer rap", whether or not they can pronounce the lyrics.) The once diginifed wedding becomes a club and people get crunk, jiggy, and hyphy. The party becomes a BARTY. The older folk watch horrifed in their seats and the DJ finally cuts the cord when Abdikarim nearly has a seizure dancing. The party then comes to a close and somali people happily file out. Another successful somali wedding.


  1. LOL @ "coming-to-americas". really good job keep it up!

  2. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. LOL
    Seriously, keep it up.
    This is going to be one of the best blogs out there :D

  4. Lol can I get some bebsi for my barty?
    Plz keep updating! This is really fun so far

    You can write one about how much somalis love sugar in their shaah

  5. hella funny shit!!!!!!!

  6. u rite we luv da fast nikko!!!!!
    LOOOOOOOOL. keep dis up!!

  7. wow thanks for commenting! I'm working on some new stuff, but thanks a ton for the support!

  8. damnnnn funny ass shit, do sum more

  9. yallaaa sooo damn true haha i love somali weddings lol
    and i lvoe the sokor in shaah too
    nd moos with bariis
    go somalia :D
    nice blog sis
    naz :)

  10. "(*the coming-to-americas really love "gangESTer rap", whether or not they can pronounce the lyrics" ---> Flight 13!!! haahahaaha i effin loveeee it

    " The place turns form Muqdisho to Compton in all about 25 seconds" --->LMFAOOOOOOO!!!!

  11. I've never been to a wedding. I figure it's for old people and female gathering spot.

    It's great if you enjoy that sort of thing. :)


  12. haha, I'm somali and I've only been to ONE wedding throughout my entire life...and that was my sisters wedding and I was the flower girl....when I was 8/9

    haha. This is great though :)